My Heart is a little full today. This week has been really hard, like
really hard, yet it has been manageable. I had this realization this morning
though that puts it all into perspective.
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I was reading in Luke 10 about Mary
and Martha. I have always liked that story because it seemed so normal and
modern to have Martha say, "Hello don't you see what I am doing?". I love that
Christ sees that she is troubled about many things, that she was struggling, but
she didn't take that opportunity to learn - to take the knowledge from Christ
that she could carry with her now and into the eternities. I look at my life a
little that way. Some moments I think "Hello, this is really hard, I can't do
this alone, I am struggling someone help me." But something I have realized this
week is that it isn't about the moment we are struggling, it isn't about our
feelings, it is all about the lesson we learn. What we get out of our trial is
what truly matters. That experience and knowledge that we gain now, when we take
the opportunity, will benefit us for the rest of our lives, now and forever.
When we stay in the struggle, and ask "Why me?", when we don't just let our
selves learn and be changed by the experience it shows are unwillingness to
follow the Father's path. He has this plan for us that we don't always
understand. I am surrounded by many people that give-in to their struggle rather
than overcoming it and becoming better. By no means am I perfect at it, it helps
to have others to focus on, but it really helped me cope in my week of change.
.
I
kept having these moments all week of why isn't anyone there that is willing to
mourn with me, who was mourning, to give me comfort that I was in dire need of.
Every time I would seek it, the focus would never stay on me very long and it
would turn to the other. Luckily, I did receive the comfort I needed from Sister
Kaiser at MLC on Friday so that made the long wait worth it. The funny part
about the struggles I have personally, with my companion and with the other
sisters is that I know it will all work out. Whenever I have the thought to give
up I just think of how silly that would be, because I know I can do it. I had a
lot of the those moments this week where I just wanted to give up, but I knew it
wouldn't be worth it and today as I read in Luke I finally understood why. It is
amazing how one line of scripture can really clear things up. I understand now
so much better the plan Heavenly Father has for me. I couldn't really tell you
exactly what happened this week, because there aren't words to describe it, but I
can tell you now, as the week has ended how I have ended up because of it. It
all still hurts in little ways but it is my burden to bear right now and I am
very grateful for the lessons I am learning on my path. I never thought I would
learn these sorts of things as a missionary. I understand so much better who I
truly am, what my purpose is and how much pain and suffering I truly can take.
It makes me even more grateful for that sacrifice that Christ made for me. He
did it alone with no one to help him. He even told the apostles to wait up for
him and they didn't. Most people just can't understand the great significance of
everything. I am grateful with my limited understanding that I can overcome my
trials and continue to serve others. Like I said my heart is full of feelings
but I know they are making me the person the Lord wants me to be.
.
On a happier note: This week was pretty good according to the work. On
Monday we ate dinner with Yasmine and her husband Justin. It was fun! Then we
taught a lesson. We kind of hit some of the harder ones --. Law of Chastity, 10
commandments and Keep the Sabbath day holy. The best part was she was following
all of them already so it was great and easy! We also helped her choose her
invitation for her baptism! She is really excited! It is all really exciting as
of right now. She also came to a baptism for one the investigators of the
English Elders in our ward. It was great to have her there! Anyway she is just
progressing very well! We also taught Juan Carlos! He is really
struggling. He just lets the world sit on his shoulders as a 16 year old and
that really shows. We talked with him about the atonement and the potential he
truly has through Christ and I think it really touched him!
.
One of our new investigators as of this week really helped me to
realize something. Often times as a missionary, my gut reaction is usually that
people wont keep there commitments. We went to our second lesson with Maria and
earlier in the day we had texted her to remind her to read. By the time we got
there she had read! My realization was that none of us are usually very good at
something or very committed at first without a little bit of help. That little
bit of help is the difference between someone progressing and not.
.
The other interesting thing this week was Mission Leadership conference
(MLC) on Friday. It was Great! President Alba focused on our purpose, Sister Alba talked about the atonement. The APs helped with teaching, contacting and
helped us to focus in on the importance of Christlike attributes. That is
something I have thought a lot about recently. I truly know that when we are
more Christlike and serve others our problems disappear and life has a purpose!
It was a great meeting to get recharged and ready to go! I am so grateful to
have that support out here on a mission! It is great to have others help us to
learn and grow!
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Saturday of course was the women's broadcast! What a historic moment!
I was so grateful to be a part of it! I loved the theme of being on the path and
what that means for our lives! That path isn't always easy but it is always
worth it!
Sunday we had meetings all day. We went from here to there and everywhere.
We had a meeting with the stake president in Davis. Then our dinner was a Court
of Honor for a boy in our ward getting his Eagle! It was quite the event. A
little too much work in my opinion but it was fun to help out! Then we went back
to Davis for my nightly Sunday meeting!
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Anyway all is good here! A lot of you have been on my thoughts recently and
I am so grateful for the support I have from all of you. I hope you didn't have
too much fun without me! I continue to need all of your strength and support so
keep it coming!
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This week I have learned more about life than I ever think I would have
learned if I hadn't been here right now. I know the Lord has put me in the place
he needs me to be! Though the days are hard I know I am doing the work of our
Heavenly Father!
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Les Quiero!
-Hermana Cornwall
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